Feeling connected to others is one of the basic human needs.
We evolved as a tribal species, living in large groups, sharing all aspects of daily life. After eating together everyone would have gathered around a camp fire and stories would be told. This meant we connected with fellow tribe members resulting in a state of relaxation so we could digest our food and sleep well. It feels good to be in a cohesive group.
Our bodies perceive social isolation as a problem which activates our fight or flight response and causes chronic stress leading to inflammation.
It is very easy in the current digital age to not speak to friends in person, preferring to communicate by text, WhatsApp or Facebook. These communications have their place but far more valuable is the personal face to face connection.
Think how good it feels when you are randomly kind to someone or lend something they need. These acts of kindness improve self esteem and are associated with better mental and physical health. Think of it like a chain reaction; if you are kind to someone then they are much more likely to be kind to someone else, and so on.
Strong harmonious relationships are essential for your physical and emotional health. The better the quality of a marriage the more the health benefits, if someone from a strong marriage is put into a difficult situation, they tend to be more resilient and have a lower risk of early death.
Physical contact with others or even pets has been shown to trigger the release of endorphins (feel good hormones), and can be emotionally soothing. Try a hug or a kiss on the cheek, a light touch on the hand or arm to reassure someone who is upset, stroking a pet.
If you are not in a partnership then it’s good to connect with people in your community through groups, hobbies and sports. Personally I have made some wonderful friends through playing a variety of sports.
Some ideas to connect with others:
- share a meal around a table with family or friends
- play a board game or cards rather than watching TV
- make the effort to phone a friend or family member rather than texting
- aim to do one act of kindness, however small, every day
- remember the power of appropriate touch - if you are worried you can always ask permission
- join a sports team or exercise class
- sign up to an adult education class
- ensure you spend regular quality time with your partner - try a date night once a week.
- get to know your neighbours if you don’t already
How do you connect with others?
Comments